


The Professional

by KireinaAme



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Meetings, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 21:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11883327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KireinaAme/pseuds/KireinaAme
Summary: Rei visits a professional.





	The Professional

**Author's Note:**

> This idea originally was going to be a drabble.... It is very much not a drabble.  
> Prepare yourself for slow-paced fluffy fluff.

Rei wanted to go on record, both official and unofficial if possible, as never having asked for this. This was not his plan, was not his intention, and was not beautiful! Quite the opposite, really. It felt downright pathetic and of dubious morals. Not that he would judge anyone else who may need or desire such questionable services – out loud, at least – but he felt quite confident in saying that he was not one of those people! What use would this “appointment” truly be for him if he was already feeling far more stressed, anxious, and tense than he’d probably ever been in his life? Wasn’t this supposed to relax and rejuvenate him? Rei was pretty sure he’d expire of embarrassment before any such resolution would be achieved by this so-called “professional.”

Yet, here he stood outside a complete stranger’s door, feeling for all the world a total fool for allowing his friends (a title now debatable) for pressuring him into this. Even outside of the obvious immediate issue of this appointment being made in the first place, he also found himself in unfamiliar territory that had him questioning all of the knowledge he had amassed on social etiquette and behavior. He never entered a new friend or coworker’s apartment without being prepared, well researched, and with a certain level of familiarity. Usually with a meticulously chosen gift, specific for the particular situation and relationship, in hand for his first visit. But what would he buy a complete stranger, connected to him neither through a mutual friend, family member, or a common work place? Not only that, but should you present the obligatory first-visit gift to a professional of any type when you had a preset appointment made? He would normally argue that you should most certainly not but under those circumstances you normally would be going to an office or clinic space, not someone’s personal abode. To cover himself from the possibility of a social faux-pas he chose something more casual, a bottle of high quality tea in the crook of one arm. Better to be prepared with a small gesture should showing up without one cause any friction.

Rei found himself fighting against the urge to fidget terribly, trying his best not to give in to his habit born of anxiety that usually resulted in the ruin of his clothing. He would often tear at the buttons on his jacket, usually the small ones on the sleeve near his wrist where silver cufflinks were carefully fastened, slipping the button in and out until it fell off completely and the hole would be stretched beyond repair. Or he would tug and adjust the knot in his tie, anything to keep his hands occupied, until it no longer resembled the perfectly symmetrical Half Windsor knot he originally constructed.

His fidgeting was arguably his worse habit. He didn’t agree whatsoever with his neighbors (who he had now decided deserved a demotion from ‘friends’) that he had any other ongoing issues. The charge of being a workaholic, a label he assured them was not a legitimate condition or medical diagnosis and only existed as a cultural expression, was a falsehood! He simply worked until the job was completed, never stopping before it was so. Wasn’t that what he was paid to do? He always ensured that he received the proper caloric intake, never one to skip meals if avoidable, and also got the suitable 8.25 hours of sleep every night as personally calculated to be of maximum benefit for him as an individual. Also, his continued social interactions with them as neighbors (former friends) alone proved their second charge as ridiculous. He felt he was far from reclusive or solitary, and he certainly did not expect them to understand the clinical definition of antisocial – surely if they did they would not have used such an extreme and unwarranted accusation! He was even more self-assured that he had no use for any “professional” of dubious qualifications to assist him in possible social or intimate relations.

Rei clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, his hand raised near his neck in the urge to tug on his tie. He fought against the desire to begin that downward spiral, especially when wearing his third best suit and tie. The last thing he needed was to appear disheveled or haggard when calmly explaining the misunderstanding of his acquaintances scheduling this appointment for him before politely apologizing for the inconvenience and being on his way back to normalcy.

His fist rapped against the door three times before adjusting his eyeglass frames as he waited. The calm demeanor he had assumed – at least on the surface – was broken almost immediately by the sound of a loud gasp (really, how did he hear that through the walls?), followed by a cry of surprise and a string of words he could only assume were curses judging by the tone. He was grateful that he at least hadn’t been able to make out the words. Before he could react further Rei felt the light vibrations of rapid footfalls through the floorboards as the occupant scurried around the room. Only the muffled shout of “be right there!” was any indication that the person inside had been responding to his knock and not some unknown stimulus.

Rei blinked a few times, taken aback by the sudden onslaught of noise and activity happening in the apartment before him. He really wanted to retreat to a safe distance from the entire building and confirm he was truly in the right location without being seen. Rei could admit to himself that he very nearly did so until he heard the shuffle in front of the door and the hinges on locks moving. Too late for an unnoticed escape then.

“Why, hello – oh! Oh my!”

A young man, appearing hardly old enough to have such an adequate apartment in this popular and upcoming neighborhood of Tokyo and even more so to have any certifications enough to have a private clientele list, appeared at the front door in a flourish of movement. The open and honest look of excitement on his face coupled well with his youthful appearance – a small upturned nose, wide and expressive eyes of the most unique shade, and petite stature (his height hardly reaching towards Rei’s chin). The young man’s (boy’s?) hair was blonde as pure sunshine, which Rei was convinced couldn’t possibly be natural of someone who appeared to be of Japanese origin, and it capped off his look.

It made Rei wonder if it was all a grand fabrication – money, time, and procedures spent to achieve a specific appearance that would have otherwise been a genetic impossibility.

And that thought made Rei make a mental note to enjoy fewer science fiction dramas on his free weekends.

It was with a sudden jolt that Rei returned from his thoughts, brought back to himself by the feel of his free hand grasped between the smaller, softer two of the stranger, his body so much closer that Rei could smell a scent of fresh flowers and chamomile from him. A perfume?

“You must be Ryuugazaki Rei! I know they told me to expect you a few minutes early but almost no one shows up this early to their appointment! I am so impressed!” The young man bounced in place, the loose curls of his hair moving in time with him and releasing more of the sweet fragrance into the air around them. “I know you must be coming straight from your office and you still managed to be early! Ah I’m so glad you couldn’t wait to get here because I’ve been so excited to meet you! I wondered about what kinda person you’d be after all I’ve been told!”

The only important piece of information amid the energetic ramblings Rei was able to decipher was that he was expected.

This _was_ the right apartment.

And this _was_ the professional with whom his appointment was made.

The professional whom had been paid to take care him.

Rei was officially stunned. His body stood rooted in place in the hallway in front of this _possibly-not-even-old-enough-to-drink-yet_ young man’s door, his mouth unable and unwilling to attempt their use at spoken language. Meanwhile the effervescent young man continued his excited chatter as he gently squeezed Rei’s hand and invaded the personal bubble Rei never realized he had _and needed_.

“And your suit! I haven’t seen one so stylish since my oldest sister’s wedding!” he gushed unabashedly, one of his delicate hands running down the expertly pressed label of his suit jacket. The action nearly made Rei choke on his own spit. “It looks so good on you! You are even better than I imagined!”

Rei could only assume that his own facial expression revealed his discomfort and confusion to the young man, as he suddenly took a half step back to put more space between then, his hand returning to the other to grip Rei’s own rather than sitting on his chest.

“Ah, sorry about that! I’m just a toucher by nature, which makes this job so perfect for me. You understand, right?” the young man giggled, not appearing very apologetic but at least concerned with his comfort. “But what are we still doing out in the hallway? Come, come! I promise to take the best care of you!”

Without any further warning than that, the man smoothly tugged Rei over the threshold of the front door, the sound of the locks sliding back into place behind him another shock to his system. Once within the confines of this man’s home, the smell of flowers and chamomile became clearer, warmer. The decorations of soft spring colors accented by the sunlight peeking through sheer curtains created the most peaceful of scenes. Everything felt like a sharp contrast to the turmoil of anxiety building within him.

“M-my apologies but it was my intent to-!” Rei tried explain as quickly as possible to ensure his earliest possible exit to the growingly awkward situation.

“Tsk, tsk, Rei-chan! You’re on appointment time now. No need to be so formal anymore.”

“ _R-rei-chan?!_ ” Rei sputtered embarrassingly.

Then to Rei’s continued horror, the man knelt down in the very limited space of the apartment’s genkan to begin untying the laces on his shoes for him. The only thing in Rei’s field of vision as he glanced down was the top of the shaggy blonde tresses so near to his legs. This time Rei couldn’t hold back the sound of a shocked choke and cough.

“I prefer to use given names with most of my clients when I can,” the young man explained, completely ignoring Rei’s breathing distress. “It gives a more intimate air, don't you think? Makes everyone feel more cozy.”

“It does lend itself to a rather close familiarity b-but-!”

“Ah! How silly of me!” The young really should _not_ look up at Rei from his position on the floor, especially not with that beaming smile and innocent head tilt. It made Rei feel all kinds of improper. “My name is Hazuki Nagisa. Please call me Nagisa!”

“I-I really shouldn’t…” Rei’s rebuttals were starting to sound weak even to his own ears. He simply didn’t have the proper knowledge or experience in how to proceed in such a social situation with such a unique character and the loss of understanding and control left him feeling unbalanced and hesitant. This Hazuki Nagisa appeared to be some kind of anomaly, filled with too much genuine warmth and openness to anyone who crossed his path. His countenance was nothing like the professional he anticipated. It would have been so much easier to contest the validity of the appointment and leave if he were.

“Rei-chan?”

Rei’s eyes whipped up to meet the young man’s jeweled magenta ones, no longer viewing him from the floor and once again within his personal space. Rei swallowed hard, worried that his inner monologue had distracted him from whatever the man might have been saying.

“Is that something you want during your appointment or…?” the young man trailed off, curiously pointing at the bottle held in one arm.

“Oh! F-for you,” Rei stuttered, caught off guard momentarily until he cleared his throat and pushed his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose. “It’s a gift for you for the misunder…”

“For me?!” The young man sealed his lips together to muffle a literal squeal of joy as he jumped forward to take the tea and retreated into the small kitchen area of the open living room. “You are such a gentleman, Rei-chan! The best ever! Should I pour some for us before we get started?”

“Ah – no – I – um – that is not necessary.” Against his original intentions, Rei began to fidget with the knot in his tie now that both of his hands were free, but never stepping out of the genkan and into the private space of the apartment. “It is for you to use whenever you wish. I just wasn’t sure what gift would be appropriate to bring, especially as I’ve never… I didn’t know what…”

“Ohhh, I see! A gentleman and a traditionalist. You didn’t need to get me anything, silly.” Hazuki giggled, setting the bottle on his small folding table before once again returning to Rei’s side to insistently tug him into the living room. Rei’s feet slipped out of his loosened shoes without thought as he stood awkwardly in front of his host in his home. The man never stepped back to give him more space, those delicate hands once against touching the front of his suit jacket.

“It’s the first time I’ve received tea as a gift though.”

“W-well, the traditional bottle of wine or seasonal sake when visiting someone’s home for the first time would be much too familiar and presuming.” Rei explained, finding comfort in the normal role of explaining complicated topics as his nerves started to ease. Perhaps the young man’s presence alone was beneficial for stress, despite his shocking physical proximity. “A bouquet of flowers would be too romantic or sentimental. Any potted plant would be too presumptuous of your living arrangements and possible allergies. And a plush doll or toy-like souvenir may be insulting or offensive for being too childish.”

Hazuki giggled once again, the sound light as chimes. “So you went with a bottle of barley tea?”

“W-well, it is a common beverage and doesn’t require an affinity for alcohol and also pairs well with many foods…” Did Rei reach an incorrect conclusion? Did he not fully consider all factors when selecting it? Was he wrong?

“It’s ok, Rei-chan,” Hazuki reassured with genuine and adamant gratitude and a pat against his chest. “I like it. It’s so unique and well thought out, so it’s special. Thank you!”

Really, how was he supposed to handle such a person? Rei would appreciate some guidance. “Y-you’re welcome…”

With a final pat against Rei’s chest, Hazuki stepped back and clasped his hands behind his back, his posture and smile innocent and unassuming. Rei was not so sure either was true. Conflicting information warring in his mind and upending his expectations.

“Now shouldn’t we get started?” Hazuki segued politely, one arm thrown out to indicate his inviting living room.

Everything was seamlessly arranged to appear somewhat ethereal, the soft colors of pastel blues, green, pinks, and yellows, a few randomly placed potted flowers (fake or real, he wasn’t sure), and the sheer, patterned curtains allowing in only the softest of the sun rays made everything feel soft, inviting, and divine. He also spotted the essential oil diffuser on a small end table, likely the source of the fragrance that permeated throughout the room and carried by Hazuki himself. Even the parts of the room that were in disarray seemed to add more charm, rather than detract from it: the curtains being too long for the window, their length spread across the floor; books stacked on their sides in an uneven tower on a shelf with a mug placed next to it, possibly filled with tea or coffee; a large abstract painting, acrylic paint Rei guessed, of flower-like splatters, leaned against the wall on one side rather than hung up, an ornate scarf thrown over one of the corners. Professionally decorated and everything purposefully placed, yet it still appeared natural and lived in. It was the perfect place for such a professional to see his clients, Rei suspected.

The sight that brought back all of his uncertainties, however, was laying in the middle of the room in front of the window and too-long curtains: a futon laid out and covered in a colorful variety of tempting blankets, throws, and soft decorative pillows.

“I hope you like the scents of chamomile and rose,” Hazuki explained, cutting into his thoughts as he kneeled down to adjust some of the blankets and pillows into some specific arrangement. “They’re two of the best scents for anxiety, after all!”

The scents were hardly of Rei’s concern at this point! He could feel the anxiety creeping back up his spine, down into his fingers and toes, and between his eyes along the bridge of his nose under his eyeglasses. _How had he not escaped yet?!_ He was somehow pulled into this surreal environment! No rationality about it! He couldn’t possibly go through with this! A complete stranger _and he was supposed to-?!_

“Hazuki-san-!” Rei yelled, all of his anxieties pushing him to decline immediately!

Hazuki just giggled once again, ignoring the panic in Rei’s voice as he shook a finger in his direction. “Nuh-huh, Rei-chan! Nagisa! Na-gi-sa!”

“Na… _Hazuki-san!_ ” Rei tried to back up toward the front door again, remembering his shoes had been removed and that would slow him down far too much in his get-away. “I-I can’t…” _Oh god, he was going to hyperventilate._

His eyes went from his socked feet and back up to his host, whose eyes had gotten rounder and doe-like, almost… sparkling. Rei was pretty sure that the young man was pouting, hurt by his refusal.

“N-nagisa… san,” he corrected for reasons unknown to himself. But if it allowed his words to get through to him then so be it. Rei would throw proper etiquette and formality out of the window for the time being. He needed to leave before physical intimacy was insisted upon him and his refusals became more severe.

Hazu… Nagisa’s face returned to his original joyful expression, clapping his hands once. “Good enough!” he exclaimed, followed by a wink. “For now, at least!”

“Listen,” Rei nearly pleaded. “I have to explain. I-I wasn’t – I didn’t mean – um… it was not my intention to make this appointment. It was also never my intention to _keep_ it.”

Nagisa tilted in head, patiently waiting for Rei to continue finally. Though Nagisa appeared more curious than insulted, Rei was starting to feel guilty. For his intrusion upon an appointment he didn’t intend to keep or for how wrong his assumptions of such a person would be, he wasn’t sure. He found it difficult to power through his feelings, knowing it could be interpreted as offensive by someone so sincere who opened his home to Rei with straightforward intentions.

“You see, my friends made this appointment without my initial knowledge. They had good intentions but this is something I never would have done. I have never utilized a professional...” Rei trailed off, uncertain, and cleared his throat. “Uh… someone of your profession."

"Cuddler.” Nagisa interjected calmly, his smile considerably smaller and less bright, but understanding. “Professional _cuddler_ , Rei-chan. You can say it."

"But ‘cuddler’ is not an actual word, nor is ‘one who cuddles’ an actual profession!" Once again pushing his glasses up to the correct location on the bridge of his own, it was also useful for hiding the heat on his cheeks as he used the embarrassing word he had been avoiding like the plague. Cuddling was something that parents did for their small children. It was something lovers did after coitus or when feeling particularly sentimental or emotional. Perhaps in some circumstances when a very close friend was ill and required comforting. He could not wrap his mind around a normal, healthy adult requiring such services outside of these instances, especially from a stranger, no matter whatever professional credentials he may or may not have. It lacked all rational understanding in Rei’s mind, therefore it could only result in the loss of dignity under the most embarrassing of circumstances with nothing to gain. Quite an un-beautiful concept.

“Debatable considering I’m right here,” Nagisa giggled once again, throwing his arms out to his side, not put off at all by Rei’s arguments to the contrary nor his suspicious nature. He was quite the resilient person and probably used to people like Rei questioning his occupation. It just made Rei feel all the more remorseful.

“It’s ok though,” Nagisa continued, reaching a hand up to twirl at the blonde curls near his temple. If possible, his features got even softer, his voice high and sweet, and Rei could tell this meant a lot to him. “I know it’s not some old and respected form of therapy, like stuff you’ll find at a spa or doctor’s office, but the concept is the same! People pay for someone to touch their bodies, a massage to help their muscles. People pay for someone to listen to their fears and worries to help their mind. People pay for someone to keep them company at bars while they drink. How is this any different? People’s hearts need attention just like their bodies or mind might need it. Some people don’t have anyone else in their lives to squeeze their hands to reassure them, give them a hug when they’re sad, or hold them when they’re lonely. And it’s not like I’m having sex with them.”

Nagisa giggled, some of his energy and brightness returning to him. “Not that there’s really anything wrong with that either! At least, I don’t think so. I know some great people who do that and it seems to be pretty important too. But I know that’s even more controversial.”

Rei blinked. “Oh… well…”

If anything appealed to Rei, it was a rational and sound argument using logic and reason. And damn if Hazuki Nagisa didn’t employ it flawlessly, much to his shock and amazement, even with the questionable appeal to his emotional side included. Rei himself didn’t have anyone in his life he would consider going to for physical affection during hard times. However, it was never something he thought he had been lacking before, never a need that had to be filled. He wondered if he simply hadn’t needed it yet or perhaps buried some supposed desire for it considering his lack of options. This, he decided, may require future analyzing.

It may also require a heartfelt apology to his well-meaning neighbors whom he practically called fools for setting up such an unbelievable appointment for him.

Rei shifted his weight between his feet, never having moved from his awkward location barely in front of the apartment’s genkan. It was time to yield and, being the pragmatic person he was, withdrawal his opposition.

“I suppose that is a rather logical explanation,” Rei admitted. “Your argument is fair and your intentions are commendable. You have quite a passion for your… work.”

“Well it’s not the only thing I do. I couldn’t possibly make enough money doing this alone. I also work at a coffee shop down the street and a few other side jobs.”

Nagisa appeared almost embarrassed for that confession, one of his hands pressed against a round, pink cheek. At least his smile was still in place. Rei would prefer to see him smile freely than subdued with hurt or doubt, especially if caused by Rei’s own ignorance or judgment.

“I don’t think your hard work is anything to be ashamed of, Nagisa-san.”

The young man’s lips stretched across his face, back to its original radiance and possibly even beyond. It alleviated an ache within Rei’s chest and he found himself returning the gesture, albeit more awkwardly. It felt like a real connection, precious and rare in Rei’s world of strict routine of work and sleep that rarely included scheduled time for private socialization of any kind. He felt as if he had committed some disservice to himself for that, the lightness in his chest caused by the first stirrings of a friendship, however temporary and fleeting.

Nagisa patted both of his cheeks, still rather flushed but aesthetically pleasing on his angelic face, and stood from his position on the futon. “Well, now that’s cleared up, back to business! First I think we should do something about your clothes.”

Forgetting himself enough to ignore his host’s return to the plan to… _cuddle_ him, Rei glanced down at his dark charcoal suit and red striped tie. “My clothing?”

Nagisa nodded and gracefully leaped across the last half of the futon, to avoid walking over the set-up he created with the pillows and blankets and towards a small wardrobe in the corner. "My clients usually come less dressed up. Though I think you look really handsome! But let me see if I can find you clothes to change into so your fancy suit doesn't get wrinkled!"

"N-no I insist that is completely unnecessary. I appreciate your concern b-but as I did not intend to keep the appointment, I find myself unprepared f-for such… ah…"

 _Great_ , he was tugging at his tie again. Rei was pretty sure he appeared just as anxious as he actually was.

"But it's already been paid for, Rei-chan,” Nagisa rationed, reminding Rei of how his neighbors had set this up for him so that he had the least amount of excuses available to avoid it, even going so far as to use his repetitive and reliable routine against him to pick the perfect date and time as well as pay the fee themselves. “And I promise there’s nothing to be afraid of. Besides, I think you really do need this. When was the last time you received physical affection?"

Rei would rather not honestly deliberate on his answer to that question. Even though he didn’t feel particularly neglected in that realm of his overall well-being, he knew the answer would likely open the door to frightening introspection about himself that he hadn’t considered before. It would take him down the path of recalling his parents’ busy and conflicting schedules, his wide age gap with his older brother, his difficulty in making friends throughout childhood, and his uncomfortable failures within his short-lived romantic life.

He refused to think about it while standing in a professional affection-giver’s living room and in front of the futon he was meant to lay upon. As locked away as he tried to make that very question, he knew it would resurface at an inopportune time later, such as 2am on a Wednesday morning before an important board meeting to discuss the last quarter’s numbers.

Rei chose polite deflection. “W-well, as correct as that may or may not be… I’m just not sure it’s something… that is, it’s quite the intimidating undertaking to…”

He would have floundered a bit longer on his words, doing everything in his power to avoid saying that it made him nearly as nervous and susceptible to heart attack as his first kiss out of a sense of pride. However, Nagisa was prepared with his doe-like expression, pouting lips, and a change of clothes in hand. Could he let down his neighbors, whom had so kindly been concerned for his emotional health? Could he let down Nagisa, this caring young man with so wholesome a goal as to provide comfort to others who had none? The most frightening question to be considered, as he pulled into the bright eyes of the man before him, would he regret it if he walked away from this apartment?

* * *

Rei took everything back. All of it. His neighbors were meddlers and Hazuki Nagisa was a force to be reckoned with disguised as a blonde, Japanese cherub, Rei thought only a few agonizing minutes later. He had returned to the living room, standing before his host and the unnaturally comfortable-looking futon, wearing a pair of borrowed cotton, drawstring pants and his white undershirt.

Nagisa greeted him with the same enthusiasm as when he first entered the apartment. He studied Rei with an excited grin and an immensely pleased glint in his eye. His power of influence and persuasion were both shocking and admiral.

"All right, you’re ready!” he clapped, delighted. “I’m so glad they fit you! Oh and I wasn't sure if you wanted any background sounds or music. What makes you most comfortable?"

“How am I supposed to know my auditory preferences for – for sharing physical affection with a stranger?!” He didn’t mean to raise his voice at Nagisa once again and he immediately hung his head. It was merely his nerves getting the best of him.

Instinctively he lifted his hand to his face, ready to use it to push his glasses back in place as well as to have somewhere to hide for the moment while his heart calmed and the heat on his face dissipated. Nagisa had other plans. He quietly stepped back into Rei’s space to reach up and remove his eyeglasses before Rei could touch them. He carefully tucked the legs in to set them on a table without a single glance that way. Rei didn’t move to stop him, more concerned with Nagisa being able to hear the pounding in his chest.

“Rei-chan, I’m trying to create a mood here.” Nagisa _tsked_ in a quiet, teasing manner, while swaying on his feet and batting his eyelashes in an almost comical fashion. It worked when Rei gave in and huffed a quick sound of amusement, some tension released.

When Rei slowly lowered his body to the futon every single muscle felt rigid and tight, as if refusing to allow him any relaxation or enjoyment of the situation despite his resolution to hand over his trust. He couldn’t help but wish all parts of his self – the rational and the emotional, the brave and the fainthearted, the curious and the cautious – could come to a consensus about how it felt concerning what was about to happen. The situation seemed more like a challenge, to overcome his own hesitations and conquer what made him nervous, perhaps to discover whatever the truth was behind Nagisa’s belief in the human condition requiring touch.

Yes, much better. This was an experiment within Rei himself. Though not quantifiable and without controlled variables, an experiment nonetheless. Those thoughts alone were what he clung to as he watched the petite blonde crawl on his hands and knees up to his side on the futon.

Rei recited figures and formulae to himself, specifically ones he decided would be most useful to determine statistics for this one-man experiment, while Nagisa adjusted his body and the pillows around him. There were approximately 127 million people within Japan, which of course would be the basis for his statistics taking cultural variations into account. Of the total population, roughly 56% are below the age of 65. It only made sense to use the half of the demographic he was more likely to share generational norms with obviously. So that would be 127 million multiplied by 0.56… Rei estimated that around 71 million. He could confirm the figures later. From there he would need to determine how to measure the amount of affection received. Perhaps if he limited family size and controlled for those who had never married…

Rei hadn’t realized that his inner musings had so successfully distracted him, and somewhat relaxed him, until he felt Nagisa finally lay down at his side. Percentages and hypotheses fled his mind immediately as if blown away.

Their bodies met in a few points of contact, Nagisa not shy or ashamed about it as he propped his head up with a hand to peer down at Rei from above. To Rei he was hyper aware of every single one – his upper arm resting against Nagisa’s chest, a slim leg pressed tight to his hip, and being able to feel every exhale against forehead.

“You need to breathe, Rei-chan.”

The sudden exhale sent a ripple of coughs out of Rei’s lungs. Breathing, right.

“Rei-chan relax! It’s not like I’m going to tickle you.” Nagisa paused thoughtfully, Rei now recognizing the teasing curve of that particular smile, the spark of mischief in his eye apparent. “ _Are_ you ticklish, Rei-chan?”

“Y-you better not-!” he choked on his empty warning.

“Hehe!” Nagisa laughed, positively delighted for reasons Rei couldn’t fathom, but ran his fingers through Rei’s hair soothingly as the laughter trailed off with a contented sigh. “I’m just kidding, don’t worry so much! Your job is to relax now, ok? I promise you can trust me.”

Despite the logical half of Rei’s mind arguing to the contrary, not only was Nagisa a stranger to him but he had already proven more than a little mischievous, the irrational (i.e. emotional) side of Rei’s self for some reason accepted his promise. His heart was still in his throat but normal respiratory functions returned to his lungs. Rei found it easier to fight against the adrenaline in his system when he was less aware of those jeweled eyes staring intently at him so he closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing.

The fingers in his hair continued for just a few more minutes, most likely allowing him to calm his nerves, which were lit like live wires throughout his body. He didn’t want to admit that it was working, so he said nothing.

“Since I know you haven’t done this before and probably don’t have any preferences…” Rei slightly opened his eyes to peer at Nagisa, just in time to catch him biting his pouty lower lip in thought, magenta eyes roaming taking in all of Rei’s face before locking onto his eyes. Rei was nervous again, but it felt different this time. “Is it ok if I move to hold you? I’ll go slow and you can tell me if you don’t like something. Or if you do like something too.”

Something about Nagisa seemed softer being this close. His voice was calmer, quieter, his smile more private and subdued, though no less content. Nagisa’s abundant energy had been somehow contained and replaced by a serene and patient focus, all aimed at Rei himself.

This version of Nagisa, Rei decided, was the most dangerous. He could easily lose more inhibitions with this gentle and guiding young man.

Nagisa didn’t move at all from the position at Rei’s side until Rei provided silent nod of agreement, fists clenching and unclenching at his side. Nagisa took ahold of Rei’s nearest arm, guiding him to lay on his side, facing away from him. With Nagisa at his back, Rei had to admit he felt less anxious again, just like having his eyes closed. He couldn’t see those round eyes looking at his body or predict where Nagisa would touch him, and now he no longer had the ability (and therefore the obligation) to touch him in return.

The small body behind him carefully pressed up against his back. Nagisa was still pulled up further on the futon so that Rei’s head almost fit under that heart-shaped chin. The length of Nagisa’s torso was pressed against Rei’s back, warming his skin there even through their clothing. One slender knee lifted to rest on Rei’s hip since Rei was too tall to spoon in the traditional fashion. It had Rei wondering how many of Nagisa’s clients were short enough to receive the full effect. How many got to enjoy the sensation of Nagisa wrapped over them?

He was beyond grateful when his thoughts were cut off there with the feeling of one of Nagisa’s hand rubbing careful patterns on his back, the back of his neck, and over his shoulders. The hand never wandered into inappropriate places, never turned into something sexual, never even pushed hard enough to find the knots in his muscles. It was touch for the sake of comfort, for the sake of affection, for the sake of an emotional release. It was nothing like the detached touch of a doctor checking your pulse or listening to your heart, not even that of an athletic chiropractor or masseuse seeking to release tension in muscles or looking for sprains. It was something in between. Rei couldn’t quite recall exactly how long it had been since the last time he was touched like this, thinking that surely it was his own mother. Not even the few fumbling attempts at romance and intimacy from his past were this easy.

Rei would need to redefine the meaning of touch, finding it now required an added entry with entirely new connotations.

Then Nagisa slipped his other arm carefully underneath Rei’s head, just enough to cradle it alongside the soft pillow as Nagisa nuzzled into his hair. He felt the delicate caresses from those fingertips against scalp, threading into the part of his hair they could reach.

Against how Rei expected himself to react, he felt his body relaxing to the point of melting into the soft mattress and sweet-smelling blankets.

“Ok?” Nagisa whispered, just the light puff of air into Rei’s dark hair.

Rei wished he could have nodded in answer instead of stuttering out an embarrassing “yes,” but it was worth it to feel another puff against his scalp, a quiet laugh and the whisper of “good” in return.

Rei wasn’t sure how many minutes they laid like that in silence, the only sounds in the room their breathing and the comforting rattle of a small fan running in some hidden corner. He knew it was to help acclimate him to the physical contact, to convince his muscles to relax and trust. Rei wasn’t sure how long it took before his breathing had slowed down, steadying itself out to match the rhythm of Nagisa’s own.

“Sooo, Rei-chan,” Nagisa started, his hand never pausing in its soothing pattern over Rei’s upper body. “It feels like you work out. Are you some kind of athlete? I didn’t realize how strong you are when you were in your suit!”

Rei hummed, his voice sleepy while answering. “I keep a strict exercise regime. Mostly I run. I find it helps to work off energy and settle my mind.”

“Oh? That’s impressive.” Rei felt Nagisa nuzzle closer, his tone no longer teasing. “I think things like this are what settles my mind. Touch, I mean. I know I might love skinship more than the average person… and that might be weird… but I honestly don’t think I could be happy if I were never touched again. I think all people need it, at least a little.”

Rei could almost hear the sudden shyness in Nagisa’s voice, his whisper becoming faint and light against Rei’s hair.

“I… I know this sounds stupid but I think it’s more about the heart of a person. It needs to be taken care of just as much as our body, right?”

Perhaps it wasn’t shyness, Rei thought. Insecurity seemed more likely. What Rei didn’t understand was why he was seeking validation with him of all people, a man who just earlier claimed what he did for a living and all the reasons behind it were illegitimate. Not to mention that he was a man that operated on the basis of fact, cold hard logic. Whether physical or theoretical didn’t matter, the point was a rationality rooted in something concrete that he could find stability in. But, there was also the unexplained beauty within the same fields – in math, in science, in nature. It was that beauty, that scientific perfection that inspired him more than anything. Was that not also slightly irrational?

Rei wasn’t sure if he could fully empathize with Nagisa’s unique point of view. Still, something reached out to him and tugged at his heartstrings. There was a certain vulnerability and insight to this otherwise rambunctious, willful young man, leaving Rei feeling both drawn in and unsteady on his feet.

“I also believe… the self is a part separate from the corporeal form. It is an intangible concept,” Rei started, his own voice trying to sound strong to reassure the man behind him, to soothe any worries of judgment. He probably only came across as awkward. “However, the disconnection from the physical does not mean we should not properly care for and appreciate our bodies. I want to perfect mine for both the purposes of longevity and quality of life, so I work out and eat right… But it wasn’t until _you_ that I realized maybe there are _other_ things that I’ve been missing.”

The response was a gasp and soft exclamation of ‘oh!’, which Rei was able to feel once again. Somehow just being able to feel Nagisa breath against his skin again was reassuring.

“Oh wow… Rei-chan, that was beautiful. Thank you. I didn’t quite get all of it but you’re amazing!”

“I… um… thank you.”

“Should I give you a massage then? Ya know, for both your physical and emotional health?”

Rei sputtered as Nagisa laughed with pure glee, his scolding falling on deaf ears. He was once again caught off guard with Nagisa’s immediate switch back to teasing once the moment of vulnerability had passed. This time though, Rei found comfort in it.

Their small talk continued for a while as Nagisa practically wrapped his lithe body around Rei’s from behind now that Rei was relaxed and accepting of the physical contact. Rei learned that Nagisa actually had a bachelor’s degree, completed just a short two years earlier. His parents had been beyond disapproving when they learned Nagisa switched his major from biology to visual arts, which was far less prestigious or impressive for an only son. Rei admired Nagisa’s fortitude when he explained that he just couldn’t bring himself to spend a lifetime doing something that wouldn’t bring him happiness, even in the face of parental pressures. Plus it was, as he put it, more gross than he thought it would be and cried every time there was a mandatory dissection in lab. That had earned a chuckle from Rei as Nagisa softly wailed at the injustice put upon so many defenseless piglets. He also learned that Nagisa was not only the only son but he was the youngest in a household of three older sisters who were both the bane of his existence and his best friends.

Rei mostly listened, enjoying the vibrations of Nagisa’s soft ramblings while graceful fingers played with his hair. He responded only when prompted, such as to offer related information about himself: a bachelor’s degree in mathematics, master’s in business, and an older brother ten years his senior.

It was a veritable shock to Rei’s core how much he was able to relax into Nagisa’s arm, almost feeling that this was a natural position between the two. It was more than a temporary stay in the land of inward peace and physical relaxation, more than the mere supplement of physical affection he had been lacking. It felt like Rei was supposed to be here and the person he was supposed to be here with was Nagisa. Suddenly that thought was far more a legitimate threat to Rei’s status quo than any of the other obstacles he conquered so far.

Before the moments of quiet forced Rei into any moments of personal crisis, the caress of fingertips in his hair stopped their petting motion in order to tug at the strands.

“Session’s all over, Rei-chan,” Nagisa announced.

* * *

“I, um, thank you for your patience… with me… today.”

Awkward didn’t even begin to describe Rei’s fumbling, with both his words and in his attempts to retie his shoes. He cleared his throat as he stood up and turned back to his host, his hands repetitively fixing his tie and adjusting his jacket by the lapels.

Nagisa lightly slapped Rei’s hands away from his clothing as he stepped into his space to correct everything Rei had just done. “Silly, Rei-chan. Thank _you_ for giving it a chance!”

The departure was proving to be just as challenging as the appointment itself and Rei wasn’t sure how to do it. All he knew was that merely turning to the door and walking away forever didn’t feel right. Rei just wasn’t sure what he was missing.

Nagisa had already finished straightening his suit but his hands remained on his chest, not moving but still there. “Rei-chan?”

“Hm?”

“Will you… come back again?” Nagisa asked, leaning on his chest, almost hanging from his suit jacket. He brandished those large, round eyes like weapons, daring Rei to deny him. Rei hadn’t been able to yet. “I’d really like it if you did.”

A lightning bolt, a spark of inspiration, and Rei knew.

“Yes, I will,” he started, seeing an excitement overtake Nagisa’s expression, the little hands clinging to his suit, tightening their grip as it tugged against his neck. “But, if I may, I have one condition.”

“Of course, Rei-chan! What is it?”

“May I return… not as your client, b-but as…”

“As… a friend?” Nagisa tilted his head curiously, Rei watching as his loose blonde curls bounced and slid across his forehead.

Rei shook his head. “As a suitor. Nagisa-san… Nagisa- _kun_. Would you go out on a date with me?”

There was a half second of pure shock on the young man’s face and it made Rei want to bolt out the door and leave the city. But the moment passed as if it never existed and he suddenly had his arms full with a small blonde, vibrating with excitement and squealing with laughter. The force of the leap Nagisa took to wrap his arms around Rei’s neck, lifting his feet clear off the ground, knocked Rei off balance enough to send them both slamming into the front door. Rei grunted with the impact against his back, thankful that the door was closed and they hadn’t tumbled into the public walkway outside.

“Yes, Rei-chan! Yes! _Tomorrow?_ Is tomorrow ok? I want to see you tomorrow!”

Rei sighed, a smile pulling at his lips as Nagisa continued his animated rambling. He foresaw a lot of cuddling in his future and he was surprisingly ok with that.

Perhaps he should think of the perfect thank-you gift for his friends.


End file.
